Moving forward.

I'm hungry for fall.

I'm well aware that it's still summer, and when I'm knee deep in snow waiting for the bus on Lake Shore Drive, I'll wish summer would return. But for now, I'm ready for sweater weather. I'm ready for the changing leaves, the crisp air and... to move on with my life.

Fall generally symbolizes going back to school. And for the first time in my life, I will not be joining students all over the country as they return to their respective college towns. I will be at my job, not at college, not enjoying a life of little responsibility and great reward. My friends and I always said that the first time we would realize that we actually weren't going back to school, that we were completely finished, is when everyone else left us behind in Chicago the fall after graduation. Well, that time has finally come and the predictions have proven to be true.

My younger friends from the University of Illinois are all back down at school. I got a call from one of them at 11 a.m. last Tuesday and I answered quietly because I was at work. She asked me if she woke me up. No, I no longer have the luxury of sleeping well into the morning. But enjoy your time left in college.

It's not that I wish I had more time in college. I guess I'm finally realizing how much fun I actually had while I was there. It's one of those experiences that really gets its full meaning once it's no longer an option. It is true what they say, that four years passes you by before you know it.

But for my life now, I hope that I can move forward as slowly as possible, no rush, no fast forwarding. The fall will come, and although I want the weather, I'm not sure I'm ready for the next season in my life. But it is inevitable, and so is change. So college, I love you, but it is finally time to move on.

So, I am hungry for fall. But I can deal with the heat a little bit longer if that means I can postpone growing up for just a few more weeks.

Hungry for... what?

I find myself in my cubicle. It's finally nicely decorated and organized, just six weeks into this adventure that everyone likes to refer to as freedom. My freedom came faster than I expected. I graduated, got a job and found an apartment all within three months of leaving school. Yes, I am definitely one of the lucky ones. But am I hungry for this freedom? I thought that I was. I was definitely hungry for it while clicking through job listings. The hunger for freedom was there when my evenings at home consisted of the Food Network and late night cereal binges. And I'm pretty sure it was there when I volunteered to clean the backyard due to sheer and utter boredom. I could not be full of freedom fast enough.

But now, sitting at my desk with not quite four, but three walls hiding my frizzy hair and exhausted appearance, I'm just hungry for the Caesar salad from Bandera. The creamy, delicious dish topped with the best cornbread croutons Chicago has to offer, was sitting in a kitchen just two blocks from my office. Sitting there, waiting for me... for $13. And where did my hunger eventually lead me? To a $5 sandwich and tap water from Subway.

No matter what freedom we have, the freedom to decide between a practical sandwich or an excessively expensive salad, we can't help but want the latter. What do you do once you achieve your first taste of freedom? My life is settled. It's not perfect, but it's definitely better than I ever expected. And yet, I'm still hungry. Yes, obviously for better lunch options, but also for something more. Not just for money, but for meaning. No matter what we as young people achieve, we have always been taught that there is something more out there for us to get our hands on. We can always do better. We can always be better. So when is that freedom really achieved?

When I get the salad from Bandera. Maybe my stomach will stop growling. And then maybe

the rest of the world, too.