Oh, to be young.

I'm hungry for my youth.

I'm well aware that I haven't even reached my mid-twenties yet, but I have never felt so young and so old at the same time.

At work, I'm constantly fighting to defend myself because of my age and inexperience, trying to look older and appear more knowledgeable. My coworkers say that they're jealous of my youth, but they're not jealous of my inability to make decisions within the company or create my own hours. Those are luxuries for the 'old', keeping in mind no one I associate with in the office is over the age of 30. Feeling young is ridiculous, and some days, I wish I could fast forward to my middle aged years, the years of being in complete control of everything around me.

But then my friend Sara came to visit. She's one of my best friends and still a senior at the university I attended. After an interview, she stayed at my apartment, beyond excited to escape Champaign and have a night out in Chicago. All she said the entire night was how lucky I was, how amazing it is to be in Chicago, to be a real person, to have graduated. And as I was listening to her, all I was thinking was that I would give anything to have just a few days of no responsibility. Yes, her midterms and job hunt are both challenging, but they're nothing compared to a full-time job and real life. All I could tell her was that she should enjoy her time left in college, and that before she knew it, she would be contemplating doing laundry because $1.50 per washer doesn't factor into her weekly budget.

It's a constant back and forth. I want to be an adult, a "real person", if you will, but I also long to have my easy, care-free college days back. Not forever, just for a little while. I want to fast-forward, but what's the rush? No matter how much I wish I could change, I am where I am, right here, as a young but old twentysomething.